Reincarnated as the Villainess's Unlucky Bodyguard

Chapter 61 The Shifting Labyrinth Beckons

I stepped into the portal with a dramatic sigh, gripping my sword in one hand and dragging Ananara with the other. The swirling vortex spat us out into the dim, musty interior of the dungeon, where the air reeked of mildew and disappointment. Faint, sickly-green torches flickered along the walls, which seemed to pulse faintly, as if the dungeon itself were alive.Nôv(el)B\\jnn

"Charming," I muttered. "I see the system has outdone itself."

[Why, thank you,] the system quipped. [Welcome to The Shifting Labyrinth. I worked very hard on it. Be sure to rate your experience. Unless, of course, you die. Then it's a one-star from you.]

"Do you ever shut up?"

[Not in my programming.]

Ananara, perched smugly on my shoulder, chimed in. "It appears your finest hour is upon us. Though knowing you, it'll be more of a... faintly tolerable hour at best."

The first hallway stretched out before me, ominously quiet except for the faint squelching of my boots on damp stone. The air shimmered ahead, and soon, two small figures emerged from the shadows: Shadow Imps, their wiry forms nearly invisible in the dim light. Their stats popped up in front of me like a cursed video game interface:

Shadow Imp

Level: 3

Health: 250/250

Attack: 15

Defense: 10 Find more chapters on empire

Speed: 45

"Oh, great," I said. "Cannon fodder."

[Don't get cocky,] the system warned. [Underestimating even weak monsters is how heroes end up as stains on the floor.]

"Thanks for the pep talk."

The first imp darted forward, claws glinting. I sidestepped easily and brought my sword down in a swift arc. It screeched as the blade cut through its torso, dissolving into smoke.

Victory!

Experience gained: 20

A small pouch appeared on the ground where the imp had been. Excited, I picked it up, only to find... a single rusty nail.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with this?"

[Congratulations! You've received an ultra-rare Rusty Nail. Perfect for poking yourself or contracting tetanus.]

It staggered but didn't fall, growling even louder. I rushed forward, feinting left before delivering a decisive blow to its neck. The hound collapsed with a pitiful whine, dissolving into green mist.

Victory!

Experience gained: 80

Another pouch appeared, and I opened it with cautious hope. Inside was... a broken shoelace.

"I'm being punked," I muttered.

[Hey, that could be useful. Tie your dignity back together with it.]

Ananara, who had somehow rolled himself into a corner during the fight, piped up again as I retrieved him. "Next time, leave the heavy lifting to me."

"Oh, sure. I'll just start weaponizing sarcasm. That'll work great."

[Endurance +1. Strength +1. But your brain? Still stuck at Level 0.]

I glared upward, fully aware the system couldn't see it. "You're all so helpful. Really boosting morale here."

Ananara, still nestled in my arms, tilted his leafy crown. "Morale isn't the issue. Your strategy or lack thereof is. If I had legs, this dungeon would already be cleared."

"Legs? You'd still be useless!" I snapped. "At least I can swing a sword. You're as effective as... I dunno, a Magikarp."

"A what?" Ananara asked, his voice dripping with disdain.

"A Magikarp. You know, from Pokémon?" I paused, watching his blank expression or at least imagining it since he didn't have a face. "Floppy fish? Splash attack? Ringing any bells?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he replied icily. "Your ramblings make you sound unhinged. I'm starting to question your fitness as my handler."

"It's a game," I said, exasperated. "You collect creatures, train them, battle them. Some are strong, some are pathetic, like Magikarp useless at first but evolves into a powerhouse. You'd probably stay a Magikarp forever, though."

"How dare you compare me to some imaginary floundering fish!" Ananara huffed. "I am a symbol of strength and dignity!"

"Sure, a symbol of rotten fruit and bad luck."

He bristled or, well, his leaves seemed to quiver. "Says the so-called warrior who got a bent spoon as a reward. Truly, you're the paragon of success."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, muttering, "Why couldn't my familiar be something cool, like a Charizard?"

"Again with the nonsense! Speak plainly, you buffoon!"

"I hate you," I muttered.

"The feeling is mutual."