HPDBC Chapter 62
Chapter 62
I had a dream.
Perhaps it wasn’t a dream after all, but it felt like one.
I was on a hill.
There stood a huge chestnut tree, its branches stretching straight up to the sky,
Surrounding it were fences.
Stars, like grains of salt, twinkled in the sky above.
The chilly air of an autumn night brushed against my cheeks.
I was a 10-year-old boy.
Was it Edward?
I reached out my hand and looked down.
It was quite a large hand for a 10-year-old.
I used to be rather petite when I was young.
This sturdy, large physique couldn’t have been mine; undoubtedly, it belonged to Edward.
10-year-old Edward.
A version of him I didn’t know.
There’s no story about this time in the novel.
I knew Edward when he was twenty.
The same age he died.
Then what is this dream showing?
Is it something created by Edward’s consciousness sleeping beneath the surface as I inhabit his body?
If not, is this a memory hiding the deepest recesses of his consciousness?
Whatever it was, it didn’t matter.
As I turned my head slowly and looked beside me, a girl stood there, familiar yet somewhat alien.
“Ania....”
A girl who couldn’t have been more than eight years old.
Though I had never seen her face before, I knew her name.
Ania Brontë.
The beloved daughter of the Brontë patriarch, the most beautiful eight-year-old girl in the empire.”
The child slowly turned their head to look at me.
– Yes, Edward?
Stars reflected in the girl’s large pupils.
I almost lost my breath for a moment, but nothing of the sort happened.
The Edward in the dream began to speak on his own accord.
– ...
But I couldn’t hear anything.
Though my lips moved, it was as if I were mute.
– Still.
Still.
What did that mean?
I didn’t know.
– ...
– Okay.
Young Ania smiled brightly.
It was a pure, innocent smile without a trace of guile.
– ...
– Someday, for sure.
– ...
It was a conversation without context.
But there was one thing I could deduce from it.
Two years prior, on the day of the Brontë estate’s harvest festival, Ania had said something to me.
A question about remembering a promise.
Indeed, the words spoken by 10-year-old Edward were related to that promise.
What promise could it be?
I couldn’t know.
– Wow! Shooting stars!
Ania exclaimed in wonder, and Edward’s gaze rose high into the sky.
Like thin brushes across the star-studded sky, shooting stars began to fall.
How long had I been lost in that beautiful sight?
When I returned to my senses, I was in my room again.
Like the time when I embraced the falling Ania.
***
“...I gave them to Lorendel.”
Even though I quit smoking for Ania, whenever my mind got this complicated, I always rummaged through the pocket where I used to keep cigarettes.
Since there were no cigarettes, I sighed and looked out the window.
Darkness had fallen unnoticed.
“Someday, for sure.”
While I was lying down, I thought about the dream I had.
What could the promise between Edward and Ania have been?
I didn’t know it now, but if I could project my memories...
But even if I did find out...
“I am not Edward.”
Ania’s beloved Edward is not me.
No... In the original story, she didn’t love Edward either, so perhaps what Ania loves isn’t Edward but me.
My head felt dizzy with confusion.
I believe in Ania.
I love her.
Because of love, I want to believe her words, even if they are lies.
But perhaps love and trust are different things.
Even if you love someone to death, you can’t trust each other completely.
There is no such form of love in the world.
In fact, the deeper the love, the more doubt there may be.
For beneath the surface of love lies hidden possessiveness.
Even if you try to ignore it, that’s the truth.
I want Ania to stay by my side forever, even knowing she might leave someday.
But I don’t want to doubt.
Because I want to believe in everything about her out of love.
If that’s the case, then I must know the truth.
Whatever that truth may be.
Even if Ania’s love for me is a fabricated lie made of smoke,
Even knowing that, I can still love her.
Even if she turns out to be the villainess who seduces men to their deaths, as in the original story, I will still be by her side.
But even then, a sense of guilt arose in my heart.
Even if I uncover the truth of their promise by seeing Edward’s memories,
It wouldn’t be my memory.
Edward and Ania.
My presence, an impurity, had intruded upon the promise between the two.
“I can’t deceive her forever....”
If I unveil the truth,
Then, Ania will eventually come to learn it.
That I am not Edward.
That another man lies beneath the mask of the man she loves.
Of course, whether Ania will believe is uncertain.
It’s something we can only know once we talk about it.
And with that thought, I found myself longing to see Ania.
We were sitting together moments ago, facing each other at dinner, yet I still missed her.
I wanted to hear her voice, touch her soft hair, and hold her in my arms.
Even if it meant deceiving the woman I love.
Still.
I hurriedly went to Ania’s room, driven by the urge to see her.
As I knocked on the door, Ania quickly opened it.
“Ania.”
Her face appeared before me.
Her cat-like, round eyes,
Her softly flowing hair,
Her strong sense of pride,
Yet, her tender heart inside,
The woman who dislikes being called ‘Miss,’
Who loves flowers and gardens,
Who is strong enough to shatter my world...
She looked unbearably vulnerable.
So, I gently embraced her.
“You won’t leave forever, will you?”
I asked, seeking reassurance.
Her hand, startled by the sudden embrace, lightly brushed against my back.
“I will stay.”
Forever.
Author’s Note
I don’t usually delve into internal stories in my original works, but since some readers seem anxious, I thought I’d briefly touch on it.
The trials ahead for Edward and Ania are far from over.
But it’s only by overcoming trials that love truly blossoms, right?
Translator’s Corner
I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Honestly, I cut out some parts of the Author’s note above as there were spoilers for the story they had planned. I think you can get the message from what is left and the tone of the story, so don’t hate me too much for leaving you in the dark.
-Ruminas