HPDBC Chapter 414 Entwined feelings, Words unsaid.
Chapter 414 Entwined feelings, Words unsaid.
The day passed without Asura being able to speak to Helliana. It was the first time he ever experienced being rejected or pushed away by the women around him.
However, it wasn't something that made him angry or displeased. Instead he only worried about Helliana's feelings.
'Helliana has been with me the longest, although I can say the same for Lorem, in my first life before death. I gave my organs to her, and we were married. That kind of bond cannot be broken easily.'
'No... It can and would. Normally, no woman would endure that torture, wait those long years all for me to become whole again...'
Because of the issue with Helliana, Asura rode his horse alone ahead of the carriages.
The horse was an elegant black beauty—while he wanted to ride a fully grown monster, they were being used to help recover and improve the farmland, so he chose a warhorse instead.
Behind him in the large carriage were Sigurd, Helliana and Noir, while Lucia rode a white horse a few yards behind Asura.
'Then when we endure the things we did. Instead of making her feel secure and telling her my feelings. I took advantage of her kindness and gentle, accepting nature.'
Asura's horse began to gallop along the new stone roads, the loud patter of his steed's hooves echoing across the glade.
He thought back to his father and mother's last words before he left. Their eyes watching Helliana full of concern, and they scolded him thoroughly.
"My son, that girl has done more for you than you can ever repay. The things you told us and likely many things you couldn't tell. No matter what kind of humiliation or shame you must face, apologise to her sincerely."
"My dear boy, although your father's words are true. Instead of just blindly apologising, think of your feelings; what do you want to tell her? Why do you want to say those words? Make sure you tell her. Otherwise, at this rate, you may lose her."
"Eh, lose her?" Asura responded in his mind, while grasping the reigns tight, the curve of the path quite smooth thanks to the dwarven architects.
"She will make a mistake in battle or lose control and part with you. I want you to think hard, although you need to be fast. Is it worth rushing for the kingdom's sake, or is Helliana worth delaying your mission a little just to fix things?"
Asura nodded his head, and his expression hardened as he began to think of what to say, how to say it... To him, Helliana was someone special, much like Mu Xue of his last life. She is the one who started everything for him, from the moment he saw her reading under that cherry blossom tree.
Although the feelings he had for Helliana and Mu Xue were different, he understood after thinking about it for so long. Helliana was someone he wanted to spend his life with.
'No, even more... to make it up to her for all that waiting and suffering. No, that's wrong too! It's because I want to be with her.'
These feelings and words weren't about repaying her or some kind of mission. It was about Asura's feelings, his heart.
The desire to spend his life with her no matter what might happen in the future.
The sun was already setting over the horizon as the group reached a small village. It was a small community on the border of the Glade, but it was a peaceful place with a few farmers, hunters, and trappers.
Arundel Village.
This village would be the place that he and Helliana would remember as the village. He would confess his feelings, not out of a feeling of guilt or because Helliana waited for him but because Asura wanted to!
Although the horses could travel a little further, the light was running out, and Asura wanted to make sure the horses and soldiers could get an adequate rest.
As the guards began setting up their tents and cooking food, Asura approached Rasha.
"However, my feelings don't come from what you did or endured. They come from our daily conversations, the little things you did when appearing to me inside the monolith."
"The times you would tease your appearance just to make me shocked at your beauty. Your smile, the way you make my favourite meals and can adjust them to my feelings on the day."
"The way you always know what to say. It's not because you are loyal or endured all that, although I am grateful for that, but because it's you."
Asura grasped while taking breaths between his words, and his hand squeezed hers tight. "from the moment I saw you reading your science homework under the cherry blossoms that fell out of season."
He smiled faintly, a blush on his cheeks. "To the moment you saved my life, throwing your safety away in the tower of death! When I thought I lost you... My heart felt like it was torn in half!"
Helliana's eyes widened. She had never seen Asura so flustered or serious. Her face flushed red, and her heart began to pound in her chest. She felt like it was back on their first planet together, his awkward proposal and honest feelings... The feelings she waited so long to hear.
"Asura... Are you saying?"
"I am saying that I love you more than I can explain with words, with actions... You were my first love, and I was terrified over time that you might have changed. Thus, I became stupid and kept delaying this moment."
He lowered his head, and his hands trembled as his voice cracked.
"I am sorry for being such a fool. I have spent all this time trying to make you happy, but rather than give you what you wanted, I just gave you lip service!"
"Asura... sometimes you're so stupid for an intelligent man."
Helliana placed her hand on his cheek, lifting his head and gazing at him.
"I knew what I was doing. I didn't have to do the things I did, but I did them because I love you. Though I got jealous because of the other girls and women, it wasn't enough to make me wish to forget those feelings. I know how you feel, how you felt..."
She closed her eyes and smiled.
"I can see it in your eyes and body language. It was the reason I accepted everything. You are so obvious with your feelings that I knew how important I was to you. Yet still made you worry like this."
Asura opened his mouth and closed it, but Helliana silenced him by pressing a finger against his lips.
"Now that I've heard what I wanted, I can be happy and honest. I won't let them take you from me, nor will I get jealous or angry. Because now, finally, I am the same as them; you took so long that I almost pushed you down!"
Her voice grew stern, and her lips formed a smile, her eyes flashing with a strange desire.
"I am glad you finally told me your feelings, and I will be even happier if you show them to me for years and years to come. Because the feelings I have for you are timeless."
The next moment, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his, a quiet, soft kiss as the pair felt their breath blowing against each other's cheeks.
Helliana hugged his shoulders tightly as her warm tears flowed. "So don't be an idiot anymore, ok? If you want to say something, tell me. If you need something, ask me. I am not a mind reader... so help me out."
"The truth is, your last confession was so shallow and empty I felt worried that it was just for the sake of it. Back then, when we were all in Romantica... That's why I didn't approach you aggressively."
"Asura... You idiot." She pulled him down onto the bed, the pair lying side by side as they held each other.
"I am an idiot. But I will happily be your fool forever."
"Idiot..."