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Chapter 54 Looking Life In The Eye

54 Looking Life In The Eye

Even though it was the middle of the day, Jenny lay sprawled on her bed, hiding under the covers.

She didn't know what she was hiding from but she kept her curtains drawn, denying the sun any chance of shedding light on the confusion inside her.

It had been a few days since she'd spoken with Nico and yet, his words kept playing in her mind over and over again.

It didn't matter what she did to try taking her mind off things. It came back like an unsolved puzzle she just couldn't shake.

"You hate me because you see yourself in me."

At first, she'd brushed off his accusation. He definitely didn't know what he was talking about.

But her mind kept asking her. 'Why didn't you have an answer for him when he asked?'

She kept replaying the words she'd always said to him. How he was reaching above his station and grasping for things he shouldn't.

She wasn't like this with everybody else. Just him.

Why?

Why was this the case?

A part of her then began to wonder if Nico had seen something in her that even she hadn't fully grasped.

She had spent the past few days looking for the real reason why she hated him so much. She'd examined herself in every possible light, searching for answers.

Was it really his recent audacity to invade her precious Emerald Isle? Was it his newfound ambition to enter the world of business and rise above where he had been placed? To grasp what she believed should be forever out of his reach?

But each of these answers didn't feel quite right. It felt like a mask she had worn for so long that she barely recognized her own face beneath it.

The truth was, Nico had hit a nerve deeper than she'd realized.

The resentment and hatred that bubbled just under her skin. The frustration she felt whenever she saw him stepping backward or forward. It wasn't just about him.

No, Nico had been right.

She finally packed her bags and stood in the middle of the room, looking around it. This place had been her sanctuary. Her place to hide from the realities around her. When she returns, it won't be to hide but to relax.

She took one last look around before making her way to the dock. Her bags were loaded and she left, feeling a strange sense of closure.

It didn't take her too long to get to the Cafe De La Paix. She was glad to see that Quinn was already there waiting.

She sat down in front of her friend who eyed her warily.

"Quinn." Jenny said, a small smile on her face. "Thanks for meeting me."

Quinn nodded, not saying anything. It was typical of her friend. The very first friend she'd made in Crownsborough.

"I wanted to... apologize." Jenny said, hoping Quinn would be able to hear the sincerity in her voice. "I said some things about Nico and painted a picture that... wasn't entirely true."

Quinn stared at her, surprised. She clearly hadn't been expecting to be apologized to.

"I realize now that what I did was wrong." Jenny continued. "I let my own feelings get in the way and I may have pushed my own resentment onto Nico."

"I never stopped to really think about how my words would affect you or him. For that, I'm sorry."

Quinn's expression softened and after a moment, she placed her hand on Jenny's. "Thank you, Jenny. It takes a lot to admit that."

They shared a small, understanding smile and Jenny knew. They're relationship wasn't as good as new but it was definitely much better than before.

"I also wanted to let you know," Jenny said, "that I'll be going back to New York for a while."

"There are... things I need to sort out. But I'll be back, eventually. And when I am, I want to come back as... well, myself. Someone I can be proud of."

Quinn looked at her with a mixture of understanding and sadness. "I'll miss you, Jenny."

The two women sat together for a few moments. Then, Jenny stood and they embraced in a hug that felt both final and hopeful.

As Jenny turned to leave, she felt a weight lift off her shoulders.

Now that this was settled, it was time to fight for herself and build a life that was truly her own. Whether she ever hated Nico or not didn't matter. What mattered was that she was finally free.

Free to look life in the eye.