HPDBC Case 132: Grandparents.
Case 132: Grandparents.
Case 132: Grandparents.
Let's slow down a bit to take in all of this chaos.
First of all, that lady seems like she's in her thirties, but she's an elf, so her real age should be much higher. On top of that, her hair, similar to her eyes, is a mellow green, which tells me that she is in fact a high elf. So her age I'd reckon is somewhere above a thousand.
And that's the problem. What sensible thousand-year-old would act like a six-year-old watching Power Rangers at night when it's probably past their bedtime and about to get their ass whooped into Monday by their mom? It's also pretty sad that she's actually strong as well...
Who let this grandma out?
''Sylvie, that's rude.'' Suddenly, Liana smacks my butt lightly a few times with her feet. Turning to her, I can see that she's trying very hard to not cringe as well, if not everyone is. Though, did I say that out loud?
''Ahem.'' I stand up and fake a few coughs while the elf lady looks around intently.
''Hey, young ones. Did you guys get rid of the dragons?'' She approaches me in particular and asks casually.
''Yea, this bald man did.'' I point to the hero of the day - Walmart Santa Claus.
''You...!''
''Good job, Bald Man!'' Her usual smile grows wider, looking warmly at the man who's trembling in anger. ''But well, these kitties sure did not learn their lesson, huh?''
Instantly, all the cats in the vicinity, except for my cat, flinch, some gulp nervously as well. Right then, Sara the Brave Cat walks over to the lady, legs shaking, still anxious.
''First of all, thank you so much for defending us so far.'' She bows respectfully. ''But I'm afraid that this is what we have to do.''
Sara glares at her parents, prompting all of us to follow her gaze.
''W-What?!'' The Chief's wife glares back at Sara. ''You ungrateful child- MHMP~!!"
Yes, yes, shut your mouth. I won't let you traumatize Sara further. Telekinesis is so convenient, I can gag anyone anytime, even myself sometimes.
''Either way.'' I speak up, breaking the heavy atmosphere. ''Can I ask for your name?''
I wonder if she's a distant relative of the Seymours or something.
''Call me-''
''MARIII~!''
Okay, what else?
From afar, a faint silhouette of a man can be seen.
''Oh, Dan!''
''Mari, I told you to wait for me!''
The man who just landed in front of us looks to be around the elf lady's age, with short blonde hair and a pair of brilliant blue eyes. Uh, um... He does look similar to someone I know, actually... And their names...
''Oh, and not to forget. It looks like you made some wonderful friends, Sylvie.'' Grandma turns to my fiancés sitting at the table. ''If they're willing to go with you to this wasteland to... What are you here for anyway, vacation?''
Okay, first of all, don't call people's town a wasteland, second, they're my regular and permanent semen providers, third, we're here to do our job.
''They're my fiancés.'' I reply simply.
''Oh, you got a fiancé this early?!'' Grandpa exclaims. ''Which one?''
''All of us.'' Liana speaks up, her voice calm and collected.
'''' ... ''''
''...Say what?''
Okay, no, it's going to be a pain in the ass to explain all the stuff to them. Judging from the fact that they don't even know I was born, which is fair because high elves will usually try to have their first child when they reach seven hundred years old, and my parents are only in their four hundred, but the point is, they're living under a rock.
So I pull out my phone and dial someone who can do that explaining job for me.
♫ I live inside my own world of make-believe ♪
Why is your ringtone my five-year-old singing?! Stupid Dad.
[Hello?]
The voice coming from my phone instantly makes my grandparents jump, they stare at my phone intently, nearly stunned.
''Dad. It's me.''
[Yeah, what going on?]
''I met my grandparents.''
[What?! They're there??]
''Yeah, so can you explain to them what happened after I was born?''
[Huh?]
''I'm too lazy, thank you and goodbye.'' I give my phone to Grandma. ''You can talk now.''
[Mother? Father? Are you there?]
''How- What in the world...''
That's the beauty of technology, grandma. Just embrace it. And don't ask about my abnormally large breasts for an elf, my dad still thinks they're natural, so.
Well, while waiting for them, I should make something for lunch. It's the first time I've met my grandparents, so I want to impress them with my cooking. What should be good... Ah, I know, let's treat them to some pizza~