HPDBC Chapter 162 - 162: Meeting of Two Sweet Tooths
Chapter 162 - 162: Meeting of Two Sweet Tooths
While the original Alex accompanied Brunhilde and Göll, observing the battle, one of his clones, in the guise of Might Guy, was preparing for the duel. Meanwhile, another clone was calmly walking toward the room where he had left Rebecca and the three troublemakers. Alex wanted to check how things were going since he knew Rebecca was a magnet for problems. She had a knack for provoking anyone, giving Alex a reason to step in, which amused him to some extent.
Even in Night City, Rebecca had the unique talent of finding trouble. If Alex's problems seemed to be drawn by his strange luck, Rebecca always managed to seek them out herself. And now, with GIR, MIMI, and Stitch added to their group, they could confidently be called a «volatile mix,» capable of causing chaos anywhere.
«This should be fun,» Alex muttered with a wide grin, anticipating the spectacle.
Reaching the waiting room, he pushed open the door and immediately froze. What lay before him was total chaos. The food table was covered in empty plates and dessert remnants. GIR, MIMI, and Stitch were sprawled across the table, clearly in a state of food coma. Their outfits were smeared with cream, and Stitch's belly was so bloated he could have passed for a balloon. The only sign of life from him was incoherent mumbling.
Rebecca was lounging lazily on the couch, typing something on a tablet. Alex instantly guessed what she was up to: she was likely devising rune combinations capable of obliterating gods in a single shot. He smirked to himself. With each passing day, Rebecca was becoming more dangerous—her weapons, originally technology-based, had reached a new level of threat when combined with runes.
In the opposite corner of the room, Hrist and Hlökk were calmly watching Gloria's show, paying no attention to the chaos around them. Alex noted with some surprise that the Valkyries were so engrossed in the plot they didn't even notice his arrival.
Rebecca, noticing Alex, narrowed her eyes. Her gaze shifted to the broadcast, where the human representative had just been announced, and then back to him. Suspicion immediately flashed across her face.
«Who are you?» she demanded sharply, instantly pulling a grenade launcher from her inventory and aiming it at Alex.
The sound of the weapon charging made GIR, MIMI, and Stitch spring to life. They lifted their heads, saw Alex, and were about to greet him, but upon noticing Rebecca's actions, they also drew their weapons and aimed at him.
Alex barely suppressed an irritated sigh. He clearly hadn't had enough time to explain to his allies that he could create clones. The click of loaded weapons filled the room, and seven barrels were now trained on him, ready to fire at any moment.
«It's me, who else? Well, technically, my clone. The original is with Brunhilde and Göll, and another clone is in the arena,» Alex explained, rolling his eyes.
Rebecca squinted, glanced at the screen where Might Guy was shouting about the power of youth, and frowned. The phrase sounded familiar to her.
«Alright, let's say I believe you. How do you prove that you're you?» she asked, not lowering her grenade launcher.
Alex rubbed his forehead in exasperation and looked toward the Valkyries sitting nearby. Their ears were blocked with headphones; relying on them was pointless—they were completely engrossed in the show.
«For the love of all that's holy,» he groaned. «I just came here to fetch you and find some trouble for us. Isn't that proof enough? Let's decide what to do next already. The Cult of the Flying Spaghetti Monster hasn't shown up yet, so it's time we caused problems for someone else.»
Rebecca pondered for a moment, but Alex had no doubt that this «gremlin» would give in soon enough.
Rebecca and the trio of troublemakers froze upon hearing mention of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and slowly lowered their weapons. Stitch, however, looked confused—he clearly had no idea who that was. Rebecca, hearing the mention of the cult, immediately stashed her grenade launcher.
When Alex mentioned seeking trouble and causing chaos for others, Rebecca became fully convinced that this was indeed the real Alex, albeit a clone. Quickly putting away her grenade launcher, she leapt over the couch and threw herself at Alex, practically clinging to him.
«If you're a clone, why do you feel just like the original?» she asked, stretching his cheeks in opposite directions.
Alex endured with difficulty, feeling his face being pulled apart by her mischievous fingers. He tried to speak, but Rebecca kept kneading his cheeks, as if trying to uncover differences between the clone and the original.
«A clone is still me,» Alex began, sighing. «It's like I'm in three places at once. Think of it as a computer running multiple windows.»
Rebecca nodded thoughtfully, seemingly grasping the concept, but she didn't stop her «investigation.» She continued feeling him up until her hands suddenly moved toward his pants, clearly intending to check something else. Realizing her intentions, Alex quickly slapped her hands away.
«Cut that out!» he protested, trying to keep her at arm's length.
Rebecca, undeterred, made another attempt to reach his pants but froze when she heard his question:
«By the way, when did you have time to arm Stitch? Care to explain?»
Rebecca froze, then theatrically threw her hands behind her head, whistling innocently as if she had nothing to do with it.
«I have no idea what you're talking about,» she said, turning away. «Maybe GIR and MIMI shared their toys with him?»
Alex rolled his eyes, unimpressed by her feigned innocence.
«You do realize I custom-make weapons for GIR and MIMI, right? And what Stitch is holding looks awfully similar to something I recently saw in your workshop,» he reminded her, pointing at the trio of troublemakers, who were lazily finishing off the leftover desserts.
Rebecca shot him a glance but clearly wasn't about to admit guilt. Despite Alex's argument that Stitch was too young to be armed, she had evidently decided her pet deserved to be equipped.
Seeing her stubbornness, Alex let out a heavy sigh:
«Fine. Since you've already armed him, it'd be a bit rude to take it back now,» he said, giving in.
Rebecca instantly lit up and, wrapping her arms around him, showered his face with kisses.
«So, what trouble are we looking for? Who are we going to annoy?» she asked excitedly, still clinging to him.
«Who else? The gods, of course,» Alex replied with a smirk. «You think I'm going to let those idiots believe the world belongs to them?»
Rebecca perked up, immediately pulling weapons—a shotgun and a pair of pistols—from her inventory. Alex kept a close eye on her actions, making sure she didn't arm herself with anything too overpowered. The last thing he needed was to provoke the gods into taking drastic measures.
He himself summoned a revolver, retrieved Muramasa from his inventory, and secured it to his belt using a mechanism. Whistling sharply, he grabbed the attention of the trio of troublemakers.
«Hey, time to stir up some noise! Get ready,» he said with a wide grin.
GIR, MIMI, and Stitch immediately perked up, shoving aside the empty plates and eagerly preparing for the new adventure. Alex chuckled—plenty of fun, and even more chaos, awaited them.
GIR, MIMI, and Stitch quickly shoved the remaining food into their mouths and began arming themselves. GIR reached for his armor, but Alex stopped him just in time, explaining that they weren't going to fight, just irritate the gods. GIR nodded in understanding and pulled out his favorite chainsaw sword and bolter. MIMI followed suit, choosing a power mace and a bolter. Stitch, unable to contain his excitement, burst out laughing as he pulled out four pistols.
«Ha-ha-ha! Bang, bang, bang!» he laughed manically, waving his weapons around.
Alex shook his head tiredly and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it. His goal was clear: find Buddha, who, as he remembered, was supposed to meet with Loki. He also knew about the seven gods who could potentially combine into something resembling the Megazord from Power Rangers. That thought made him smirk again—absurd things like that could even happen among gods.
Once everyone was ready, Alex led his little «group of troublemakers» in
Behind him appeared two more figures: a young man in samurai attire and a tall man with a huge cleaver on his shoulder. The first, with a predatory grin, spoke up:
«What a gathering! Looks like something interesting is about to happen. Can I join you?»
Alex, Buddha, Sasaki, and the newcomers stood shoulder to shoulder, drawing their blades. The tension in the air was palpable. Alex exchanged a quick glance with Rebecca, who simply smiled, fully aware that the plan to enrage the gods had succeeded.
Alex hoped that the tracking module built into G.I.R. was functioning properly. He had recently received a signal from the original to ask G.I.R. to check for the presence of external gods in this world. After all, Heimdall knew the history of the Pantheon and Might Guy, which was essentially impossible.
«Hey, Loki, what are you standing there for? Don't you want to help your friends? Are you really waiting for daddy to give the command 'sick 'em'?» Alex taunted, looking at the god of lies.
Loki, flushed with anger, almost teleported to the group of gods of luck. Alex nodded in satisfaction. This was his chance—if Loki decided to intervene, Alex now had a valid reason to beat up Loki, who was always sticking his nose where it didn't belong.
«Well then, let's see who walks away with their bones intact today,» Alex said quietly, but threateningly, as he gripped the hilt of his katana.
Alex calmly placed his hand on the katana's mechanism, ready to draw it at any moment. The three samurai had already unsheathed their blades and were aiming them at the gods, waiting for the right moment to strike. The tension in the air thickened, as if every breath could be the signal to start the fight.
Loki took a step forward but was stopped by Ebisu, who stretched out his hand to hold him back.
«I'll deal with this trash myself, especially with that upstart with rainbow eyes! You hear me, bastard…»
Ebisu's sentence was never completed. A candy, expertly thrown by Alex, hit him right in the forehead, knocking him down and leaving the god of luck lying on the floor.
«Instead of waving words around, you'd better start doing something. You're acting like a spoiled child. Instead of screaming and crying, you should've done something already.» Alex rolled his eyes and sighed, adding, «And now I had to sacrifice a candy. How are you going to pay for that, huh? Do you even realize there are no stores around here? Where am I supposed to get new ones?»
Sasaki Kojiro, lazily scratching his cheek, couldn't resist commenting:
«Hey, buddy, I don't think he's going to be able to answer you. Looks like you knocked him out with your 'sweet attack'.»
Buddha looked at the candy in his hand with interest but quickly discarded the thought of using it as a weapon. It seemed a waste to use such a tasty treat for that. On Ebisu's now unconscious face was a bright bump. The furrowed brows of the other gods of luck and Loki's particularly irritated expression clearly indicated that they weren't going to let this incident go unanswered.
«As expected... You need to disappear,» Loki said, his voice cold and his gaze filled with hatred.
Weapons resembling chain scythes slipped out of black holes near him. Loki aimed them directly at Alex. However, Alex only raised an eyebrow, studying the unusual weapons with interest.
«How scary! If you don't want to lose your toys, I suggest you leave, Loki. Though, I think even your 'daddy' won't be able to save you if a fight breaks out,» Alex smirked.
Sasaki Kojiro snorted:
«Whoa, kid, you're really scaring me. Do you think a god with such a huge ego is going to listen to you?»
«Who knows these gods,» Alex shrugged. «Maybe they'll attack, maybe this is all just a theatrical performance.»
«True enough, it'd be better if these gods attacked, at least that'd give us a reason to swing our swords,» Okita said with a wide grin on his face.
«Enough talk!» Rebecca intervened, keeping her shotgun at the ready. «Alex, let's just smash these idiots already!»
Loki's anger reached its peak, and he lunged forward. Alex gripped the katana sheath tighter, ready to activate the mechanism and instantly shoot the blade out, leaving Loki without arms—and at the same time adding another godly weapon to his collection. His imagination was already painting a picture of Loki's scythes finding their place next to the trident. However, suddenly the floor beneath them started cracking.
Alex stopped, turned his head, and with irritation saw two uninvited guests.
«Two old farts... They could've shown up later. I was just about to get a new toy!»
Rebecca noticed how Alex puffed his cheeks, looking like a petulant child. She smirked, realizing that these two were the ones who had ruined his mood. In front of the group of gods and mortals, Zeus and Odin appeared.
«You're getting bold, brother of Adam,» Zeus growled, looking at Alex.
Alex stepped out of the samurai's formation and walked straight up to Zeus. His gaze was calm, but cold. Coming up close, he looked down at the thunder god, his voice carrying a clear challenge:
«Maybe. Or maybe not. But it's not for you to decide, Zeus. Want me to remind you that your brother couldn't even scratch me? Think you'll do any better?»
The tension in the situation reached its breaking point. Alex tightened his grip on the katana, ready for the next move.
An unspoken battle of glares erupted between Alex and Zeus, and the atmosphere in the room noticeably changed. The air seemed thicker, pressing down on everyone present. Even the sound of rustling vanished, leaving behind a suffocating silence.
«Enough!» Odin took a step forward, breaking the silence. His voice was authoritative.
«Stop, brother of Adam. Or do you think the rules protect you?»
Alex turned his gaze toward Odin, not hiding his contempt.
«Don't interfere, one-eyed. You think you're tough because you've got a pair of jabbering ravens sitting on your shoulders? One more word and I'll feed them to you.»
Odin's eyes flared with anger. His voice dropped low and threatening:
«I said... ENOUGH!»
With these words, a wave of overwhelming power erupted from Odin's body. The ground beneath him cracked, and the air grew heavy, capable of forcing anyone to their knees. Sasaki and Okita struggled to maintain their balance, unwilling to fall. Even the others in the room felt the might of the god, except for Rebecca. She raised an eyebrow in surprise, quickly realizing that Alex had surrounded her with an invisible shield.
Alex stood motionless, his gaze cold and unwavering.
«With this kind of power, you're only scaring children. If you don't get rid of it, I'll rip out your other eye,» he said in an icy tone.
Moments later, an even stronger pressure exploded from Alex's body. It was so intense that Zeus and Odin were forced to take a step back, their faces twisting with strain. The floor beneath Alex cracked even further, a fountain of dust erupted, and all his power was focused solely on the two gods, leaving the others unharmed. The pressure lasted only seconds, but it felt like an eternity until Alex suddenly stepped back, withdrawing his power as abruptly as he had released it.
He sighed tiredly and turned away from the gods, as if losing all interest in them.
«Well, you're boring. I thought the main gods of their pantheons would be bolder. Since you don't want a fight, I'll go spend some time with my wife. At least, there aren't two old farts in her company.»
Alex walked past Buddha, handing him another pack of strawberry candies, and headed for the exit. The eyes of the others followed him, filled with astonishment and indignation. Only Odin's face briefly changed—his features momentarily twisted into a terrifying shape, like the face of a monster from a nightmare. But it quickly disappeared, so no one had time to notice.
Ignoring the hidden gazes, Alex walked forward, leading Rebecca and his companions. He no longer cared about what was left behind him—he had achieved what he came for: he had tested the gods' strength and even gotten to know Buddha a little better.
Taking a lollipop from his pocket that Buddha had given him, Alex popped it into his mouth and glanced at his faithful companion.
«GIR, did you find anything through the search module? If so, send the data to Rebecca's tablet. The phone is in the hands of the original.»
The robo-dog nodded briefly, and its eyes lit up as it processed the information. Moments later, the data appeared on the tablet Rebecca handed to Alex. He studied it carefully, frowning when he noticed some small discrepancies—the module clearly needed recalibration.
«Looks like I'll have to tinker with it again,» Alex muttered, closing the tablet.
But all the data was still in Alex's phone and in the workshop that remained in Orario. Rebecca, happily gnawing on a lollipop she had stolen from Alex's pocket, enjoyed watching the reactions of the gods, recalling the name of the red-haired goddess she planned to mock later. Alex took her hand, and they continued their way, leaving the tense atmosphere behind.
To be continued...
(What kind of fighter would you like to see on the side of humanity? If I like your version, I will gladly include this person in the battle.)
(This chapter was already released on Patreon yesterday, this is all because you decided to feed me and now I have to work and write more instead of lying on the couch and watching my series. But okay, you did it, and now I have to repay in kind. Mua:з)